How you view yourself and the world around you

How you view yourself and the world around you

Craig Nathanson

What is your perspective about you? How do you feel about you? What is your perspective about the world around you? Your perspective can assist or detract you from reaching your vocational goals in life. I have defined perspective as the way you think about the world and those around you.
It is easy to believe the perspectives that others either have or want us to have about ourselves. Perspectives that were given to us when we were young can stay with us for a long time. Some of our earliest experiences drive our belief systems.

When I was around ten years old, I started running. I was a small kid and although I enjoyed other sports, running seemed to even things out for me against all those bigger kids.

In ninth grade, I went undefeated in the 330 yard dash. It seemed that in every race I just knew I wouldn’t lose. I can remember the championship race at Kezar Stadium where for many years the 49ers football team had played. As I stood in lane one and looked at all those bigger kids lined up ahead of me in their lanes, I had the perspective that all I had to do was run my race and everything would work out. At the time, there must have been a few thousand people in the stands, including my grandfather and grandmother. When the gun went off, it seemed that all the other kids took off to a big lead. Half way around the track, I was in last place. I can remember the feeling now over 30 years later. I just knew I would be fine if I listened to my pace and did what I knew I could do. As I rounded the final turn, I picked up the pace and started to pass the kids one by one. With 50 yards to go, there was one very big kid in front of me. He had a ten-yard lead and it didn’t look good. I can remember saying to myself, “I can catch him”. With ten yards to go, I found an extra gear I didn’t know I had, and with one last kick, I passed this kid and won the city championship.

Four years later, in my senior year in high school, I also went undefeated in cross-country (long distance running). As I continued to be one of the smallest kids in my class, running became my place to practice belief. Again, in every race that year, as I stood at the starting line, I just knew I wouldn’t lose. In the championship race at another historic place, the Polo Fields in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park, I stood at the starting line again knowing what I needed to do.

As we finished the first mile and exited through the tunnel, the kids from the rival school formed a wall in front of me so I couldn’t pass. I didn’t panic. I believed in myself and what I was capable of. I had mentally rehearsed this race for many months. As the first group reached the top of the hill and rounded that big tree that had stood in the meadow for over 60 years, I made my move. I raced around the kids who suddenly lost their protective wall as they rounded the tree. As I raced by and caught them by surprise, I felt my pace gaining stronger and my arms and legs gaining momentum. I never looked back. As I charged up the final hill, I caught a quick look at my former seventh grade coach who had been following my progress. He yelled, ‘’Come on Craig, last hill, you can do this’’. Hearing his voice gave me even more confidence. When you are around other people who support your beliefs and have a positive perspective of you, it adds fuel to your emotional bank account. As I raced through that last tunnel into the darkness that lasted only four or five seconds, it seemed much longer. As I entered that tunnel, it became dark and quiet. I was alone with my thoughts. I could hear my breathing, my feet hitting the ground and the echo of the tunnel. I exited the tunnel and emerged into the sunlight with the greatest feeling in the world. That’s the feeling you get when you believe in yourself and can show evidence of that belief.

As I rounded the track and raced home to end another undefeated season as the city champion, I raised my arms in victory as I broke the banner. I looked over and saw lots of people in the stands. Grandpa was missing as he had died in my arms from cancer the year before. Grandma was home sick and mom was working as she always did. In a way, I felt as if my victory proved to myself and to others that much was possible in this world if you started with the perspective that you could do it. As a footnote to this story, 30 years later I was with my five year-old son at a craft fair and noticed an elderly man selling black and white photos. There among the hundreds of pictures was a picture of that tunnel, the one I had run through on the way to my victory. I bought this with the same excitement as a child able to spend his whole dollar on candy. I told my little son this story and he said, ‘’Daddy, would you take me to the tunnel some time, so I can run with you through it too?’’ You see, I learned that having a positive perspective about yourself could be something to pass on, to leave behind for others to try out for themselves.

So, let’s turn to you. What is your perspective about you? Make a list right now of all the things that you believe about you. What are they? Are they helpful? Are they useful? What exactly is your perspective of you? If you don’t like it, you can change it. Imagine if you replaced one of the views about yourself which you didn’t like with one that was more useful. How would that feel? Try it right now. Take a perspective that you aren’t especially proud of and change it to a more useful one. Notice as you try on this new perspective like a new shirt, how it feels. How does it rest within you? How does it fit you? If at first, it doesn’t quite fit right, don’t worry. You can always have it tailored a bit and eventually after wearing it for a while, it will fit fine.

What if you discover that this new perspective is different from what others have always told you? I think that’s a good sign that you are on the right track to positive change. Finding the right vocation sometimes means trading in an old set of perspectives that just aren’t useful any longer. My middle son trades baseball cards. I asked him once why he turned some in and got new ones. He said, “Dad, don’t you get it, these cards are old and not worth much any more. These new ones are cool.” Well, perhaps the same goes for one’s perspectives. Trade in the old ones and get some new ones.

I once counseled a man in his early 60’s who had just been laid off. He shoved his resume across the desk and asked if I could fix it. As I normally do in this situation, I respectfully moved the resume aside and asked this man exactly what it was that he wanted to do with his life. He told me that no one had ever asked him that before. He said that for most of life, his parents had taken care of this for him. Now that they were gone, he had no one left to tell him what he should be doing with his vocational life. He explained to me that when he was 10 years old, over 50 years ago, he had loved to paint. At the time, his father told him to drop his love for painting because painting would never provide enough income to support a family. As he always did, he listened to his father and dropped his love for painting and never touched it again.

In our work together, I gave this man permission to follow his dreams again and do what made him feel happy and full of passion. In tears, he said he would do that and immediately started to describe his plans for opening a studio and making it lucrative. He told me he could make more money as an engineer but doubted he would live much longer to enjoy or spend it.
Is there something in your life you need to give yourself permission to do? Is there a perspective you have about yourself that you would like to change?

It all starts with how you view yourself and the world around you!

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