Craig's Story

Maybe this will inspire you as well, enjoy!

Craig

Goodbye Corporate Cubicle..........Hello world!
By Craig Nathanson

Well, today’s my last day in a box after 18 years. Not sure what to expect out there in a world without walls. Cubicles can be interesting places to work when you are just starting out. The constraints four walls place on you can keep you under control and quiet at times. Not sure I’ll miss the local gossip, all the noise and desk drawer’s opening and closing after all these years, but I’ll give it a shot. Yes, I am planning on replacing gray partitions with sunlight, office small talk with light piano and wasted effort with purpose. Don’t get me wrong, the corporate life has been a valuable experience all these years, just time to move on. Must have been turning forty which caused me to make purpose out of my life, explore my values and how I wanted to contribute to the world. The problem is these kinds of ambitions often cause you to get strange looks while still in the cubicle, where what you do outside of work is of little interest to many.

It’s true I have prepared for this for some time, writing books, articles, developing seminars and the like. My work towards a PH.D has gotten me to think a bit about mid-life transition.

I have come to one conclusion, it is!

Transitions come in strange shapes and forms. What has suddenly at age forty caused me to give up all these LONG range plans to SOMEDAY follow my dreams and do them NOW! Let’s see, I have given up my job, my BIG house and lifestyle. My family has dealt with a rather difficult transition which despite their love, must to wonder, is this just another phase?

This time though, I know it’s for real. It all started a few weeks ago when I was giving a presentation about a subject I had discussed countless time before at work. All of a sudden in the middle of the presentation, I stopped talking. I started to feel dizzy and light headed. I couldn’t remember what I was talking about, nor did I care. I felt as if I was a spectator, not the main event. Somehow, I got though this presentation. Later that night, I pondered what had happened. The answer was scary but obvious to me. My body was giving me a physical sign that enough was enough.....

My body was crying out, to stop spending time wasting energy, thought and spirit not following my dreams. I had always wondered about self actualization. Well, this was the signal to stop wondering.

It was time to let go of the myth that corporate America will take care of me.

Time to stop spending countless days with lots of activity, but little meaning.

So I prepare to launch my own business and guide others through this exciting, scary time of life.

All of a sudden, has the world opened up or was it always there?

The trees look taller, the people friendlier and my spirit more spirited.

Goodbye Corporate Cubicle, been there, done that!

Creating a life……………
by Craig Nathanson

When I was laid off five months ago, it seemed like the opportunity I had always wished for secretly. The chance to be the real me at least for a little while.

A chance to replace boring meetings where I pretended to be interested with instead a real life.
It would be the time to eat breakfast late enough in the morning so the sun shined over the newspaper and coffee while my three year old played Buzz Light-Year around my feet. A chance to discuss with my fourteen year old daughter the merits of running and believing in yourself. A chance to talk sports with my 11-year-old son and debate the recent trades. And of course, the special times to sit and have coffee with my wife and laugh a little. I have encountered all the emotions of a lifetime the past five months. Running away, crying, pure elation, anger, you name it and I have experienced it.

During my first week off , I was running on a trail near my house.

Seeing mom’s with strollers, smelling the morning bakery and feeling the breeze off the trees, I felt THIS was the fantasy world. Stick figures pretending to be living an actual life with routine schedules, community and flow. I remember on those rare occasions when I used to take a few hours off from my corporate life and commute and actually run these trails. It felt like I was on a one hour reprieve from prison. Just enough time to enjoy the good life but to realize it couldn’t last.

During those first few weeks after being laid off I had plenty of time (I was training for a marathon) to truly enjoy the trails. I couldn’t escape the feeling that this was just temporary. Soon, I would have a real job and of course a real life. No morning smells of baking cookies, community and sounds of crunching leaves. Yet, despite this I continued to run down different paths, exploring, thinking and pondering. Some days it felt like if ran on THESE trails, maybe the corporate police wouldn’t find me.

Yet, I was always on the lookout for them. They usually found people like me around 9am on weekdays. I heard they handcuffed you and brought you back to a non-de script building. They immediately took a mug shot, gave you a number and placed a badge on you. The worst of all they stuck you in a grey 6 by 4 partition. I heard stories about this. I heard they made you attend back to back meetings on the first day. I heard you actually had to sit there and listen to 20 people argue about the company mission statement while a small non-de script person wrote everyone’s ideas on the board. The meeting would usually end only when the walls were full and paper ran out.

The other meetings were worst. A meeting to decide the company’s snack policy, one about WHAT to do about poorly performing employees and then the routine staff meeting where the boss ranted and raved about the groups progress and the staff members wondered when this person would die, retire or take a really long vacation.

I heard though the meetings were paradise compared to the office cubes as they were called. When they first brought you back, you were given an office in a box. You know, a stapler, staple remover, tape, pens, pencils and a ruler! In my 23 years of corporate life, not sure I ever really saw anyone actually use a ruler. The boxes though would come in handy later when you were laid off or moved so you could pack your stuff back inside.

These ever-present thoughts kept me on the lookout for the corporate police despite the beauty of the trails. Although in the early months, this seemed liked the fantasy world, it was one dream I didn’t want to wake up from.

Looking back over the last five months, I have so many special moments that on one hand seem so unreal from the ‘’real’’ world but will stay with me forever.

Here are just a few of the memories ;

Walking my son to the park, playing pirates and eating ice cream bars. As ice cream dripped down both of our faces, my three year-old turned to me and said, Daddy, I love you, and can we do this again!

Taking my 11 year-old son to the countless Giant games, talking sports, riding on the subway (well ok, its called Bart) sharing bag lunches together bought at the neighborhood deli across the street

Going into the city with my daughter for baseball, shopping of course and rides on the cable cars to our favorite North Beach pizza spot. She won’t typically hold my hand anymore, but in strange new places, she cuddles and holds my arm, only a feeling a father can understand.

Breakfast in the sun on Main Street sitting outside with my wife in our favorite local spot discussing kids and our life together

For me, going into my study after my 10-second commute, opening the window, turning on the stereo and CREATING my day.

After five months of actually trying really hard to get a job, it became obvious what the real answer was. If there was EVER a time to follow my passion, it was now. I realized that for me, writing, teaching and counseling was the thing I loved to do best and which made me happy. Mixed with running and family, this was the life I wanted and I wanted it NOW.

Turning down a very big job at the end was more then risky, it was symbolic.

My son said to me, ‘’dad, what’s the use of making all this money if WE can’t spend it together’’

My daughter had gotten used to me driving her and friends to the mall and then later for ice cream. I always felt honored that I was invited for the ice cream part.

My older son and I got used to getting haircuts together while my little one enjoyed carrying his toys to work with me (My study!)

My wife will also admit it was nice having me around for lots of catching up and giving her well needed breaks during the day.

Now, the last few months haven’t been easy. Being the only dad at mommy and me class with my son was interesting. I only wish I practiced blowing bubbles sooner.

Replacing wheels on wagons and re-adjusting car seats is also not my cup of tea. (My wife finally hired a guy named Craig (serious) to fix these sorts of things around the house) When I hear her say, don’t worry we’ll have Craig fix it, somehow makes it feel a little better.

Looking back, I realize why I loved the trails so much. New one’s always provided a sense of mystery and discovery. There was this sense of following a path which was both unknown yet familiar. After each long run, I would come back with more WISDOM and KNOWLEDGE then when I started.

So, after a while, training on new roads became the challenge.

After five months, I realize NOW that THESE TRAILS that I have been traveling down filled with mom’s and strollers, fresh baking smells and the morning breeze ARE the REAL life, at least for me.

It’s nice when you finally live a LIFE you feel you have CREATED.

In creating THIS LIFE, I realize I am not doing this as I had thought, to either save the world or make the world a better place…

I am doing this because it’s what I love, it makes me happy and it works for my family. If along the way, I can make a small DIFFERENCE to others, well, that’s nice too.

Craig Nathanson is now spending his days teaching, counseling, writing, running and having lots of ice cream cones with family.

Craig lives in Brentwood, California with his wife and three children

Living the Life
by Craig Nathanson (2002)

Third and final article of a three part series on breaking away from Corporate America
It’s only fitting that my first two articles in this series were called ‘’Goodbye Cubicle’’ and my second article, ‘’Creating a life’’. The first was written nearly six years ago after a long career at a high tech firm.

At the time, I can remember feeling like I had jumped over the fence to make my break.

They eventually caught me and I went back to Corporate America and the lure of the Dot Com lifestyle close to five years ago. After much effort and the greed of riches vanished, my second article called ‘’Creating a Life’’ had more passion, more confidence. Now, one year later, this article, ‘’Living the Life’’ Rediscovers why I originally wrote the first two articles!

Well, today, I did it again. I left Corporate America to follow my vocational passion; Teaching, Counseling and writing. “What’s the difference,” you ask, “ this time around?”

Well for one, I feel different. While doing research around what I call vocational passion for my doctoral work the past year, I realized a few things. First, I realized one day after reading my own writing that it was time to follow my own advice. This was something I now must do. My own students who I teach in graduate school as an adjunct professor were motivated by my talks around vocational passion. Guess what; I got motivated too!

Today I left my office building for the final time with a skip and hop out the door. I headed straight for the hills for a ten mile run, another passion of mine. Over hills and trails, it finally hit me. I created the life I had so preciously imagined the past few years. I couldn’t help but to smile to myself. I told people I had decided to retire from work. I knew in my heart that once I found what I loved to do and did it, I would never work another day in my life. I would also never re-tire.….In fact I would re-energize.…..

I enjoyed my family this evening while sitting on the family room couch without that nagging feeling to run into my study and do ‘’”my work’’. You see, now my passion would get done during normal waking hours!

The events of this past year for my family made this decision easier.

My 12 year old son became ill and we were forced to send him away for a year for treatment.

We lost most of our life savings through the dot com fall-out, and my wife and I have both had recent cancer scares. In the big picture of life, I needed something to turn the tide and increase my pace of giving to others. It’s funny the reaction one gets when discussing vocational passion. It’s rare not to have the other person start to discuss their passions and usually all the reasons why they have had to put it off for some day.

Well, I have all the reasons in the world to not put it off and to launch it now.

I could keep writing but it’s time now to actually start living the life!

Note:
Craig plans to spend the next year completing his research and PhD, increase his teaching load, write a few books and start a private counseling practice helping others find and live their vocational passion.

Most importantly, Craig plans to spend the most time with his family and if you need to find him after hours, just look towards the family couch.



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